Cat-skunks and babysitting!

Saturday January 21 2012

Just FYI – I slept for nearly 10 hours last night, so that might explain the time for all of these adventures!

The president of the company I work for is over in our apartment with his wife and is demanding a variety of things. For example, that the couch is moved to the other room or that he absolutely needs a blanket for the chair. It’s not even like the general dream feeling where I just accept that he’s there and instead I’m just standing there looking at him weirdly because I don’t know how he got into our apartment, or how he even knows where I live. Then his wife is in our kitchen making a snack with yogurt, nuts, flax, etc…something that I would eat, and she’s just helping herself to our food. I’m just looking at them both, shaking my head, and shrugging at Kevin who is just as confused as I am.

The next dream we’re babysitting the youngest character on Modern Family – Mitchell and Cameron’s daughter Lilly, and she has an infant brother in my dream. So Kevin and I are attempting to make dinner, when they’re running around and not listening. So Lilly starts eating junk food and I put it away, then she somehow gets it back. I tell her that for eating the junk food after I asked her not to, she has to sit in the chair for time-out for 2 minutes. I put the timer on beside her and go to find her brother who somehow learned to walk in the 10 minutes they’ve been here. I come back and she’s eating the damn cheetos again. I try the time-out thing again, then her brother (let’s call him Mitch) races to the stove, which is weirdly at his height so he can easily reach the burners! I have food on each of the burners and he’s trying to put his hands on all of them (let’s be honest here, I should’ve known it was a dream at that point because the last time I cooked something was in 2007). 

While I’m trying to stop Mitch from severely burning himself, Lilly runs and grabs the cheetos. Then I try and talk to Lilly, and Kevin’s friends walk in at the same time Mitch needs to have a bath. 

Kevin bathes Mitch and he’s screaming and flailing about, so I’m standing there trying to offer my (obviously better) suggestions and Lilly is running around with something liquid and is about to pour it on the food. I grab a towel for the baby, and pick Lilly up in my other arm, then as Mitch is being wrapped in the towel, he suddenly grows to over 6 feet tall and has facial hair. *POOF* he’s a grown man now! I wonder if the water is magic and we’ve discovered a way to move forward in time, or I’m imagining this entire thing and then I blink and he’s back into a baby again.  Weird, but I shrug and go back to asking Lilly to please put the cheetos back in the cupboard forthelasttimeOMG.

Now we’re in some weird swampy place that has small docks surrounding an island that looks like a rainforest. We’re walking (with the 2 small kids) on these wooden docks that nearly sink if we all stand on one. We’re trying to find a good seat, but I’m not sure what we’re watching, or why we’re here with about 50 other people. Everyone is taking a seat and so we’re settling in and someone wants to use my camera, so I pass it over (without even knowing who it was! Aren’t I the nicest??). It gets passed around down the line, and I wait several minutes to get it back.

It doesn’t show up so I pass Mitch to Kevin and I say I’m going to look for it. Somehow, I wind up on dry land where more people are sitting, but there are hundreds of cats that are actually skunks and they’re spraying people. No one seems to notice and I’m trying to dodge these (freaking adorable) kittens and cats with a little white tip on their tail. I’m still looking for my camera and all of a sudden I’m on one side of some chain-linked fences and there are tigers or coyotes coming, so a bunch of us are climbing up the fence, and we have to jump to the next fence, and then the next one before we can climb down and actually be safe. I’m apparently a pro-fence climber and have no trouble. Several other kids are terrified so I stretch myself between the fences and help them reach the other side. Again, I’m pretty much the nicest person that ever existed in my dreams.

We’re back to where everyone else is, and I find my camera just in time to take a great picture of a sunset.

Now I’m at some hotel –resort place and my boss (the Vice President) is looking for me. She’s calling me on the phone in my room, and whenever I enter in her extension, it goes to some random guy. I call “0” for help and he asks what I need, and I tell him I’m trying to reach the VP, and he says in a really snarky voice, “Well it better not be for an interview because you are 30 minutes late. How do you expect to be even SEEN by her if you’re that late? Do you have any sense of professionalism?” 

Um, what is this, The Devil Wears Prada???

So I kindly report back, “Actually I already work for her, and she’s been calling me. Don’t you ever talk to me in that tone again.” And I hang up. But then I’m back to square one because I hung up before he could help me.

I go out to the pool area to look for her, and I see some of the cat-skunks again. I show them to my mom (Where are we? On vacation or something??) and she tries to explain the origins of this weird breeding phenomenon. 

The end.